BAD SPITTERS: INVENTIVE WORDS FOR EVERYDAY LIFE
When Looking For The Right Word, Sometimes You Just Have To Make One Up
Aquafusion – The indecision faced given the choice of three water options at a restaurant – sparkling, spring or tap. Also known as a liquid trilemma.
Billshit – What a cashier utters when a customer tries slipping them a ‘bum bill’ – usually frayed at the edges, taped together, with a moustache drawn on the face.
Coshitcidence – When two toilets in your house are flushed at the same time. Also known as crapnicity.
Disturbage – Unpleasant thoughts conjured up during masturbation.
Escalingot – Conversation between two strangers on an escalator. The “t” at the end is silent.
Fergots – People who chronically leave price tags on gifts.
Grafforciti – The secret force that enables graffiti writers to reach impossible heights.
Humoliation – When you miss the punch line of a joke and are too embarrassed not to laugh.
InSANTAty – People who save used wrapping paper.
Juggstice – The unwritten law that girls with big boobs can get away with anything.
Knatch – An attractive female butt crack visible through tight spandex.
Legal Tenderizer – The cashier who inspects your bill to see if it’s counterfeit.
Mirage a Trois – A threesome that never materializes.
Neckglist – The colored ring around a pigeon’s throat.
Opvoidism – Pretending not to see a blind person so you won’t have to help them walk across the street.
Pandemournium – When a fight breaks out at a funeral.
Revolte – A vote for someone you know will fuck it all up.
Spizzle – The grease that drips off the sagging tip of a slice of pizza. That limp tip is called the spizz.
Trypo – A misspelled word on a menu.
UFRO – Unidentified Flying Afro. An afro that defies all laws of physics
Woggin’ – The retarded gait one assumes when trying to beat the Walk/Don’t Walk sign. A combination of walking, jogging and running.
Yeek – The look you make the first time you see your girlfriend without makeup.
Zlookin’ – Wandering aimlessly through a store with no intention of buying anything.